I Can’t Breathe & I’m In Prison

Picture of Willie "Fareed" Fleming

Willie "Fareed" Fleming

In America, we’re hearing the phrase “I can’t breathe” way too often these days.  We normally hear it as life is taken from unarmed African American males at the hands of racists officers.  There’s another place “I can’t breathe” is being heard.  That’s in our prisons.  I can’t breathe is being yelled by those dying to officers as well as those dying to the cornavirus.  Check out this unbelievable, heartwrenching story of an incarcerated Loved One, Wille “Fareed” Fleming as he battled coronavirus behind the prison wall…

“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art
with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4 

When I was a little boy in Sunday school memorizing that verse back in the 60ty’s, I envisioned
a slim pathway between two mountains, boulders or something that was way out in the middle of
nowhere; and in a place where a lion or bear- or even a human enemy would be tracking me and
trying to take me out. I never would have thought that the predator would be the coronavirus.
Forty days ago, the coronavirus arrived at the Wynne Prison Unit in Huntsville, TX. We knew it
was here because men started falling out and everyone was manifesting the symptoms that were
being warned about on television such as dry coughing, fever, an inability to breathe and extreme
fatigue.

The first order was to socially distance. Well, how do you do that in prison? Especially on a unit
where the cells are 8X10 feet and shared with a cellmate and the showers are communal.
Nonetheless, the practice of “socially distancing” started on April 3rd. I know because I was
scheduled to go give a sermon that day in the chapel and we all had to readjust to meet the social
distance guidelines. The Chaplain and I were in his office talking and going over the sermon
notes when he started coughing and feeling fatigued. Three weeks later, he died from the
coronavirus.

I knew I had contracted it from him and by this time I was beginning to have few symptoms, as
was the whole wing where I was housed. My cellmate, who was twenty years younger than me,
had foot bruises and a dry cough which he thought were as a result of the virus. Every one up
and down the row of 28 cells felt that they had some type of symptom and then people started
passing out, falling down and yelling that they couldn’t breathe.

We would go to bed listening to see who was coughing the worst. We would ask, “Has Mike
made it back from Memorial Hermann?”(The hospital that most were rushed to.) Then we began
to notice the list of names just kept getting longer, and longer and longer. “Does anybody know
what happened to Bell, Rock, Phil, Jay, Howard, Milton, Flacco,the Irishman, Chi-town, G-Man,
Lil Man, Tiny, Bryan College Station, East Texas, Fifth Ward, Johnny Cochran? Man, there are
too many of us missing and the chaplain is dead!” The news said that there were 12 of “us” who
were dead. The rumors spread as quickly as the virus and the next then that happened was the
new name for the cell block- “The Death Block.”

I refused to entertain any negativity.

I woke up in the morning praying and reading the Word and fasting to stay spiritually strong; but
my dry cough wouldn’t stop. My chest was hurting slightly and I couldn’t smell anything. I was
always waiting for things to get just a little worse before I sounded the alarm.
Then, on April 28th, the officials started doing targeted testing for guys that were in the
vulnerable population. I was one of the ones tested.

I finally broke and told my wife, although I never told her about the symptoms because I
couldn’t have her worrying; but when I took the test I knew it would come back positive and it
did. They moved all of the offenders positive with the coronavirus to a block all by ourselves.
None of us were looking the other men in the eye. It was as if we were all being marshalled
together to die.

No sooner than we got settled in, the calls for help began. “I can’t breathe.”
Another man was having a heart attack and despair and depression had consumed the whole cell
block.

Mail quit coming, the officers working our block were donned in space suits and looked at us as
if we were already dead. The only food we received were sandwiches that were cold,
non-nutritious and never delicious. Then the water got turned off for five days due to a broken
pipe. It was as low as it gets. One day, I was in my cell writing my son a letter reminding him of
everything I ever taught him and the Holy Spirit quickened me to get up and start shadow
boxing.

I started swinging at the unseen enemy.

I fought him for about 30 minutes and then started doing a regimen of push-ups and other
exercises until I was dripping with sweat and I heard the verse, “ Yea though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” I heard that verse as I had never heard it
before. DAvid said, “AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF
DEATH,” not as I am overcome in the valley. Not respective of how death’s tail struck me on
the left cheek, but how I WALKED THROUGH, fearing now evil and taking comfort with his
rod (The Word) and his staff (The Holy Spirit).

I have made it through the valley, but death was on my every side. Many have passed away and
their faces are still fresh in my mind, but God saved me, covered me, guided me through and I
am grateful and thankful. I don’t know if all of the guys that were taken away are dead or just
being housed somewhere else, but I know they deserve to be checked on, remembered and
forgiven for many were redeemed and have regenerated their lives. They are great examples of
new creatures reconciled back to God.

Signed,
Willie “Fareed” Fleming

We Made It!! Fourteen Years Through the Wall!!

Wowwww!!!! What a day!!!! We Made it!!! Our family has been waiting for this day like forever!! So by now you already know my husband was sentenced to 22.5 years in prison. Due to a change in the law, All Drugs Minus Two orchestrated by Families Against Mandatory Minimums ~ FAMM, his sentence was reduced!!  He’ll get even less halfway house time due to the First Step Act also one of FAMM’s initiatives. 

One More Day and A Wake Up! 

So let me rewind to how we prepared for this day. I had a tough decision to make…Did I want to pick my husband up alone and let this be our moment, or did I want to include the rest of our family to witness this day we’ve all been waiting for? You know, I love my Mom and Dad!! I can honestly say we were truly blessed to have their support throughout this whole ordeal. I may be my husband’s ride or die but they are my ride or dies!! For real!!  For real!!! I’ve met so many prison wives who don’t have the support of their family which makes the journey even more difficult.

When the day was approaching, my mom told me she wanted to go. I knew my son wanted to go, but my emotionless daughter (she gets it from her momma… lol) put up a front like she didn’t want to go. Of course I knew better. My dad, well,  now that I’m thinking about it his reaction is emotionless too! So, I really had no clue if he wanted to go or not.

Deep down My Mister wanted me to come alone but when I told him my mom wanted to be there he was like ok! Well, we can’t say no to Ma and Dad! Our time is coming.

My nervousness had calmed down the closer the day got to my husband being released. Me and the kids packed everything he needed for the halfway house the night before. We did the best we could guesstimating since we didn’t know his actual size and packed some foods we thought he’d like. I told my daughters I felt like I was packing for a college dorm room! They stayed awake while I tried to get some sleep. Our communication had been cut off for three days. So all I could do was imagine how he was feeling knowing he would be free the next morning.

The Wake Up!

We woke up at 4:00 am to get ready for our new beginnings!! We arrived thirty minutes early at the prison. I can’t believe he had the nerve to tell me he wanted me there thirty minutes early because he thought I might be late!! Really Bae, Really? Did he really not know how long I’ve waited for this day?!?!  Did he really think I would be late for his freedom?

Once we arrived, we sat in the truck all giddy.  We passed the time by cracking on each other, laughing, and trying to predict how all of this was going to play out.   We started to question should we just continue to sit or do we let the Base workers know that we were there to pick up someone being released. I couldn’t take any chances messing anything up so I walked to the guard and she told me to be looking out for a van that would come to our parking lot to drop my husband off.

It’s now 7:45 am!! We only had 15 more minutes!! Every white van that drove by had us nervous!! We would watch the van pull up, get nervous and excited, and then watch the van drive off the base. This went on for the next 30 mins. We finally saw a van pull up and turn into our parking lot!! I think we all went silent for a few seconds as we watched the van pull into the parking lot and the doors fly open!!

Free At Last!!

Oh My God!!! Oh My God!!! One man stepped out the van with his gear and then my Mister stepped out!!!!! We ran through the rain and well you can check it out for yourself below.

 

One of the best parts was surprising my husband with his daughter who he was literally talking to on facetime but had no idea she was facetiming him from the car!

The entire day was so surreal!! Just having my husband in the car with us was “weird” as my son says but in a good way!! When he got in the car he pulled out his mp3 player for us to hear a song that got him through his tough days. It was so cute because he really was adamant about getting an aux cord to hook this mp3 player up. We started trying to think of ways to make this thing work and then it hit us! Just tell us the name of the song. We can pull it up on our phone and play My Testimony by Marvin Sapp. We listened to the words as he sang along with it. Then I shared my get through song, Praise is What I Do by William Murphy.

The rest of the ride was good conversation, facetime reunites, extended hugs and kisses we couldn’t share at visit until my son sat between us!! It was good to see and hear pure joy as My Mister took in his new freedom!!

If you have an incarcerated loved one, keep the faith!!  Don’t give up on them!!  Be their voice when you have to!! And in the words of my favorite song:

I vow to praise You
Through the good and the bad
I’ll praise You
Whether happy or sad
I’ll praise You
In all that I go through
Because praise is what I do
‘Cause I owe it all to You

 

While the First Step Act is Stalled, the Fight for Our Families Continue

As the summer comes to an end, I can’t help but reflect back on a trip that has truly opened my eyes even more to the injustices of the justice system and will forever be with me.  My children had the opportunity to share a quick glimpse of there life without their dad due to incarceration.  Let me put out this disclaimer before I get started.  Yes, their father committed a crime and in no way am I saying he didn’t deserve the time.  I am saying, and several other families affected by these extremely harsh sentences, are saying is  just that…the sentences are extremely harsh!!  If you do the crime do the time, but does the time fit the crime?!? 

But guess what?  This trip was not about the time fitting the crime.  Yes, families would love to hear that Congress has taken steps to reform sentencing.  However, this trip was to advocate for small changes, first steps, that would make a huge difference in the lives of those affected by incarceration.  Take a look at some of those actions:

Adjusts good time credit calculation 

Requires BOP to put lower-risk, lower-needs people in home confinement

Requires the BOP to place prisoners within 500 driving miles, not air miles, of home

Reforms the BOP’s compassionate release process

Authorizes $50 million in funding per year for 5 years

Gives incentives to prisoners who cannot earn time credits for completing rehabilitative programs

Requires BOP to help people get government identification

Reauthorizes an elderly prisoner early release pilot program

Bans shackling of pregnant women

Expands Federal Prison Industries

Requires BOP to expand programs quickly

Click the link for more details of the First Step Act

On July 11th and 12th I heard so many unbelievable stories of famililes that are struggling from day to day as they try to make their lives as normal as possible.  But for once, we were able to sit and talk freely with out worrying about judgment from people who just simply don’t understand because they haven’t experienced this life.  We were able to compare stories, give advice, listen to advice, give each other hope all while fighting for just treatment for our loved ones.  That’s all we’re asking for.  Just and humane treatment!  

There were familes that represented each one of the actions mentioned in the First Step Act.  From those affected by distance, to the gutwrenching stories of being shackled while bringing life into the world to dieing alone without having loved ones by your side after they fought and fought for Compassionate Release.

From being given freedom after a sentence reduction, to getting that freedom snatched from you after re-entering society based on a “mistake” the system made even after living up to the expectations society has put in place after overcoming the many obstacles felons face after release.  From hearing how my kids (who represent several children of incarcerated parents) are affected from the absence of a father  to hearing a man that was once a child missing his father and is now that man that my son hopes he doesn’t have to be … A man that missed his father as a child that continues to miss his father as a man.

 

From a daughter who misses her father and yearns to have a relationship outside of prison walls to a grown woman and her family fighting to get her father home to be by his side while his health is quickly deteriorating.  From wives and significant others that couldn’t do anything but let go and cry because they have to lives as strong women and they were simply tired of being strong to mothers trying to decide the best time to talk to their children about their incarcerated parent.   

Just remember as your reading, these are not just stories…these are lives.  But not only were there stories of hurt but there were also stories of hope!  Stories of those that were incarcerated, or who have family members who are/have been incarcerated that have now devoted their lives to helping those incarcerated.  From those who have a learned to use their gift to help others all while expressing their pain to those that are demonstrating through their everyday lives that incarceration doesn’t have to hinder you, it can be used to heighten you.

After hearing the many stories at FAMM’s (Families Against Mandatory Minimums) “Families for Justice Reform Now Rally”, we were able to unwind as we had dinner together at one of DC’s infamous spots, Busboys and Poets.  I learned that this was the restaurant that President Obama invited a few former inmates that received clemency under his administration. Talking and laughter filled the room, and we had a good time for our loved ones.  We never forgot them, as this was about them.  My son’s 13th birthday was that day!  He was surprised with singing and a birthday cupcake from our FAMMilies.  After dinner ended, we were quickly reminded of our big day that was ahead of us as lobbyists.

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On the morning of July 12th, we boarded the bus and traveled to the U.S. Capitol.  After signing in, we were led to a room for training and then divided into groups by the state which we were from.  For many of us, this was a first.  We joined our team leader a traveled through the Capitol to have our first meeting with our US Senators Richard Shelby’s Staffers and our Second meeting with Senator Doug Jones.

 

 Of course, there was some nervousness being that we didn’t quited know what to expect.  We entered each of their offices and were led to a table where we took turns lobbying for the First Step Act.  We all shared our stories and concerns in hopes of making enough of an impact for our elected officials to at least take a look and consider the First Step Act, and to remember our stories and the many we were there representing that are like us.  We won’t know how much of an impact was made until the First Step Act is brought to the Senate Floor.

 

The First Step Act passed the House of  Representatives with an overwhelming 360 “yes” votes and 59 “no” votes!  Thanks to the many congrassmen and women like Senator Rand Paul (R-KY),  Representative Bobby Scott, Representative Doug Collins (R-GA) and Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI). The passing of the First Step Act demonstrates that there is a great need for criminal justice reform being that this act had major bipartisan support.   As of today, the First Step Act is at a halt in the Senate due to Senate Leadership and the Department of Justice, particularly, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, being opposed to this minimal but major reform.  While the First Step Act is stalled, the fight for our families continue!

 

With that said, I’d like to thank FAMM Families Against Mandatory Minimums for all they’ve done and continue to do in the fight for our incarcerted loved ones.