The most significant words my biblical marriage counselor shared with me were … “Shut Up!” My immediate thought was “shut up?!” But he’s not right! Do you hear what he’s saying? His thinking is ALL wrong!! But at this point, I was willing to take the advice because we had hit the bottom. So I “shut up” and let him tell “his side” of the story. As he continued to talk, there were moments when I wanted to interject my “perfect thoughts” but I was instructed to listen and write down my points so that I wouldn’t forget what I wanted to say. As I continued to listen to his “ridiculousness” I actually started hearing moments that didn’t sound so ridiculous after all. I began to see that uh..oh I actually was a contributing factor to this demise. I didn’t agree with everything he was saying but I understood his reaction to me… Ok, so let’s rewind, I was here so my counselor could fix HIM!! Nothing was wrong with me. I didn’t do anything. He didn’t even want to seek counseling and now I’m part of the problem?! I gotta hear this … While I’m able to find an inkling of love for him please tell me what I need to do. According to my counselor, my fiancé wasn’t feeling respected and appreciated. Okayyy, why would I respect him? Respect in my head was to submit and I don’t do the submit thing. Especially when you don’t deserve respect. If he disrespects me, I will disrespect him in return. It’s those thoughts and actions that got us where we were- sitting on the couch in front of a biblical marriage counselor. Whoever would’ve thought. You couldn’t have told me this years ago. All we as women want is our fairytale happily ever after. What happened? Whew… as a last resort to salvage that inkling that was left, I took my counselor’s advice and shut up and prayed. Oh, the journey that lies ahead … To be continued …To Nag or Not to Nag…That is the Question
One less thought …
Real Wife
Let me just start by saying love the honesty in your post. I too struggle with submission, but I have come to terms with submission this way. When I submit to my husband I am submitting to God. Therefore, don’t think in terms of your submission to your husband think in terms of submission to God.
Ephesians 5:21-33 ESV / 15
Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, …
Thanks for your response and your advice. You are absolutely correct I am submitting to God. I’ve finally learned but I do have times where I have to remind myself. The scriptures is a great reminder!