The most significant words my biblical marriage counselor shared with me were … “Shut Up!” My immediate thought was “shut up?!” But he’s not right! Do you hear what he’s saying? His thinking is ALL wrong!! But at this point, I was willing to take the advice because we had hit the bottom. So I “shut up” and let him tell “his side” of the story. As he continued to talk, there were moments when I wanted to interject my “perfect thoughts” but I was instructed to listen and write down my points so that I wouldn’t forget what I wanted to say. As I continued to listen to his “ridiculousness” I actually started hearing moments that didn’t sound so ridiculous after all. I began to see that uh..oh I actually was a contributing factor to this demise. I didn’t agree with everything he was saying but I understood his reaction to me… Ok, so let’s rewind, I was here so my counselor could fix HIM!! Nothing was wrong with me. I didn’t do anything. He didn’t even want to seek counseling and now I’m part of the problem?! I gotta hear this … While I’m able to find an inkling of love for him please tell me what I need to do. According to my counselor, my fiancé wasn’t feeling respected and appreciated. Okayyy, why would I respect him? Respect in my head was to submit and I don’t do the submit thing. Especially when you don’t deserve respect. If he disrespects me, I will disrespect him in return. It’s those thoughts and actions that got us where we were- sitting on the couch in front of a biblical marriage counselor. Whoever would’ve thought. You couldn’t have told me this years ago. All we as women want is our fairytale happily ever after. What happened? Whew… as a last resort to salvage that inkling that was left, I took my counselor’s advice and shut up and prayed. Oh, the journey that lies ahead … To be continued …To Nag or Not to Nag…That is the Question
One less thought …
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