For the Lives of Prison Wives

Your Prison Stories

In for the Long Haul! From My Pen Pal to My Husband. . .

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I met my husband through a Christian pen pal ministry 15+ years ago. I was given the name and info. Unbeknownst of one the most loving, caring Godly men I know, which would take my life in a very unexpected direction.

                                                      

When I first came across his name I had no interest in any relationship and it was strongly advised not to get involved beyond ministry and support. Funny how love has a way of creeping into our lives! After a few months of corresponding by letter, then came pictures then phone conversations. Over time I was able to see how loving, kind and Godly he is.

I don’t think I really realized truly what I was walking into,15+ years ago as I became more and more in love with this man I am convinced only God brought into my life. I didn’t know Federal prisoners were moved around often from state to state, which means over the years MANY cross country trips from California to wherever he is located (usually on the East coast), at times with no guarantee he would be allowed a visit. I have made a few trips ending with no visit,..heartbreaking! In all this, I found it could be a few months between visits, or YEARS!

                                                 

Over the years we have endured many ups and downs with the ultimate jolt being my diagnosis of cancer in June of 2019. We were blessed by the Lord of my healing and remission after a few months. It was hard for both of us not being together to tackle that hurdle together as it truly tested our love and commitment to each other as well as to the Lord!

Neither of us thought in the beginning that a chance encounter through pen pal letters would go this far, and it’s truly not the “norm” when meeting an inmate with 19 years to go! We now have 4 1/2 years to go until we can FINALLY start our lives together, though he is facing deportation in the end…another hurdle! We’re ready! And by the grace of God, we are looking forward to a long happy life together.

We never know where or when love will strike, and many people have asked (inappropriate) questions, as to why or how I am enduring this journey. This definitely requires a strong commitment, self-awareness, a supportive personal life, and strong faith in God.

To any other women who find themselves on this unique journey, I pray you keep the strength, love (of self also) and faith to get you through this, if you are truly with the right man it will last!!

When Things Get Hot in the Kitchen

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Hello I’m a prison wife, I’m telling my story on how I met my husband to be. In 2018, I applied for a food service job at a prison. During orientation we were told the do’s and dont’s of the job. Some of us listened while some of us didn’t.  Who knew it would get “hot in the kitchen?”

I was one of the ones who listened and had every intention of just going to work to get a pay check. Here I was a single woman that hadn’t been with anyone for three years.  Now all of the sudden I’m working around hundreds of men!  Unfortunately but fortunately, there was one man that caught my eye.    As soon as he walked in we locked eyes which made me feel wanted again, he gave me butterflies, I couldn’t stop thinking about this man!  I told my best friend about him and I started to pick up all the overtime I could just to be around this man.  After talking to him, I eventually found out that his feelings were mutual even though he was much younger than me. That didn’t matter and I still fell head over heals for him. For him my age didn’t matter he loved me for me and I didn’t care that he was in prison. I loved him for him! He made me feel happy, wanted, and like a woman. He never told me things I wanted to hear only things I needed to hear.  Things to make me better.

I never thought it was possible to love again. He easily broke that wall down. It was something about him, he was hungry for my attention so I gave it all to him but we had to be careful because it could have gotten us in trouble. We talked when we could. I remember the first time we kissed it sent butterflies in my stomach but it only lasted a couple of seconds because we didn’t want to get caught.

We were always sneaking around every chance that was given until one day I was pulled into the office and told that I was being watched. I was asked questions about my lover.  I was asked if I was having relations with him. I denied everything to keep my job and to see him. Sometimes I wondered if I was crazy.  My best friend told me I was crazy! Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be dating a 32 year old african american prisoner.  I am a 47 years old caucasian woman. He is still serving time. Some of my co-workers gave me a hard time about our relationship and of course rumors were going around. I didn’t pay them any attention, all I wanted was to be around him even if it was across the kitchen. He was more than just a prisoner to me and I was more than just a woman to him.

I spent many of times in the officeI being questionned by administration. I just kept denying everything. My co- workers liked my man and they would try to pick fights with me to get me to quit my job. I just ignored all of it. There were other co-workers that were sneaking around also but I was the only one being watched. I ended up purchasing a prepaid phone with different number so that we could talk without it getting traced. We talked a lot when I wasn’t working. My man ended up getting caught with marijuana.  They sent him to the hole and they investigated me which led to me being terminated.

It was two months before I heard from him again. When I finally did he said they were moving him to another prison. We wrote letters back and forth for two more months. Finally, he called! I was so happy to hear his voice that I cried. From there on out we talked on the phone. I never forgot about him and he never forgot about me.

In the beginning of 2019 he put me on his visitation list and now I go visit him twice a month. We have talked for awhile about getting married since our love for each other has grown so strong over the year.  We have had a lot of struggles during this process and it has cost us a lot of money.  Neverthlesss, next month, we will be getting married!! It’s not the wedding we have dreamed of because he is still in prison but we want to make our love known to each other. After we get married we are hoping to start the process of him being released.  To be continued …