Welllll, as my son says as he starts to give a long drawn out explanation, what in the world is wrong with me? I just ended a call with my new employer and I’m not excited about my new opportunity. Am I crazy? I have in big letters on my vision board “CHANGE”! Now, “CHANGE” is here and I’m still not satisfied. I’ve prayed for change, change is now here and I’m having doubts. How dare I not be grateful, right? What is the real problem? Who does this? Oh no… no… I’m trying to fight back the tears but it’s too late. I can’t believe I’m sitting here crying over a new job. The phone rings. It’s my husband of course I can’t get myself together enough to disguise my pain. I try to explain my thoughts and feeling to him but I just sound like a big ball of confusion. He’s now at a lost for words because he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and upset me even more. So his answer is to just sit silently for a minute to pay his respect and then he changes the topic to something totally different as if that doesn’t upset me. The sudden change of topics did upset me for a minute but it also helped to get my mind off of my meltdown. I realized my husband just didn’t want to worsen things. Of course, we come back to the meltdown topic and he tells me what I already know. You have to do what you have to do. You may not be where you want to be but in the meanwhile work towards your want in addition to your need. I then start to reflect on my past big moments of change and I remember the all to familiar craziness that runs rampant in my head when I approach my new normal. I guess it’s the fear of the unknown. In the end it’s never as difficult as we imagine it to be. If God puts us there, He will provide the care.
One less thought …
Real Wife