It seems like I may be one of the few who wasn’t tuned in to Gucci Mane and Keyshia’s hot topic wedding! I will definitely check it out when BET airs it again which I’m sure they will soon. But I did have a chance to check out the many, many posts and comments. I can honestly say I’ve seen just as many supporting their marriage and sending the beautiful couple well wishes as I’ve seen those not in support of “ride or die” relationship.
For years, women have held their men down while doing their time. It’s nothing new. With more men in prison as the years go by, especially African American men, there will be even more women holding their men down. There have even been straight up debates about some calling this marriage “relationship goals.” Now, I don’t think anyone’s goal is to marry someone in prison. It certainly wasn’t my goal. But as life goes, the problems roll.
No one truly knows what they will do until they are in that situation. Maybe the relationship goal is the fact that they didn’t give up on each other. Several comments talked about how Gucci put her through hell by using drugs, cheating all that stuff that tends to come with the lifestyle. But how many take the time to look beneath the surface of the person they’re in a relationship with? Why are certain behaviors taking place? There’s almost always some unresolved issue at the root. Most of the time it’s the way that person was loved or not loved. People show love the way they were shown love. That’s all they know. How can you give love if you haven’t truly experienced love? Remember, hurting people hurt people. It takes a different type of person to see beneath the surface. Too many people are surface seers. Not too many want to use their X-ray vision to see beneath the surface. There are no perfect people. Therefore, all relationships will have problems now and then. A relationship without problems is a problem.
When people are physically sick it’s expected that your spouse is there. But not too many can handle a “mentally” sick spouse. Gucci was obviously battling mental issues of some type, maybe not medically diagnosed, but his actions show that there was a problem. If you’re human, you’re going to experience your own mental issues along the way. It’s all about how we decide to cope with the issues. Some can bounce back, while others get “lost in the sauce.” Sometimes God sits people down to help them reorganize their state of mind. Who’s to say those that are “ride or die” gf/spouse aren’t specially equipped to be the peace and guidance for their lost spouses.
To be “ride or die” doesn’t make you dumb. To be “ride or die” doesn’t make you weak. You can be “ride or die” for someone in jail/prison or in the free world. You’re supposed to be “ride or die” for your spouse with God’s guidance. Why take the vows for better or worse if you’re going to run soon as worse comes? So many of us say the God-centered vows but don’t put God at the center. The worse won’t be resolved overnight. It takes time to unlearn the things you’ve learned for a lifetime.
Nope, we prison wives don’t know what the outcome will be. But guess what, free world wives don’t know either. We’re all wives wanting the best for our lives.